6/26/2020: Follow up on my last two updates
about 6 years ago
– Sat, Jun 27, 2020 at 02:38:52 PM
So, one night, back in 1996, my brother and I are getting ready for a Fantasy LARP we thought might be fun to join. We go to the grocery store and get some spray paint for a project related to the LARP and leave the store. We don't even get half a block away when cops stop us and ask us where we're going, why we have a can of spray paint, what we are planning to do with it, are we in a gang...It goes on and on. I have to sit there and describe every tattoo I have (most of which I got while I was in the Navy) so they can put me and my brother into a gang database. Also, bear in mind, that the can of spray paint was in a bag, so how did they even know (and so fast) that I had a can of spray paint?
I logically know this shit is jacked up, and I should just exercise my right to keep my mouth shut without an attorney present, but that'll likely just bring more cops and escalate the situation, so I sit there and take it.
In 2000 my wife and I drove up to Salt Lake City from Texas to visit my family and go camping. As soon as I fucking get close to my grandmother's house, this cop who had been following me ever since I got off the freeway, pulls me over and literally says he did it because I had an out of state license plate and he wanted to know if I'm bringing drugs up from Texas.
Again, I should have exercised my rights and told him to get a warrant if he wanted to search the truck, but that would have brought more cops, and I didn't want to get my wife involved.
It's only now that I realize what was going on inside my head when I made Teusday's Post. I posted that because I'm still incredibly angry over what happened to me. I’m incredibly angry over what is happening across this country, and I’m just some white dude who legally bought a damned can of spray paint. I was guilty of driving with an out-of-state license plate. You may think I’m making a mound out of an ant hill, that what happened to me was nothing (compared to what people of color go through every day, it was nothing).
You might think, well if you weren’t doing anything wrong, what did you have to be worried about?
You’re completely missing the point.
What I was subjected to is a misuse of power. I don’t care if they were following procedure. I fit some profile and was stopped for it. Screw my rights as a law-abiding citizen. I looked different and therefore I needed to be questioned.
Please take a moment and consider what it’s like to be a person of color, and how this type of thing happens to them all the time. How much more are they affected by this kind of behavior? How deeply rooted are these feelings of helplessness (and yes literal fear for their lives or those of their loved ones) in their minds? It's taken me almost 24 years to come to grips with this and realize how it has affected me.
Yes. I absolutely know there are GOOD, HEROIC men and women in law enforcement who put their lives on the line every single day. I know police officers DIE in the line of duty. Policing is the hardest job, especially in the United States and I won’t deny that there are some extremely violent people in our society who need to be taken off the streets, and it’s the police who have to risk their lives doing just that.
I know it must be impossible to be a police officer right now, especially if you are doing your job the right way. You’re getting branded as corrupt and judged for the actions of a few. I’m sorry for my part with my Kickstarter post and the trauma it may have caused you.
I sincerely hope you can forgive me, but I do stand with Black Lives Matter, and I do feel like something has to change with regards to law enforcement in this country.
I don't know HOW this needs to change. I DO strongly believe that police are desperately needed, wanted, and loved. I don't think the police need to be "defunded" or abolished entirely. You and your family members deserve so much respect and admiration.
My Tuesday update did come from a place of anger, and I'm sorry I subjected you to that.
As I said before, the Campaign Theme and the Plot Point Campaign are staying in, but I need to go through it and make sure it's written with a level of sensitivity to the current conditions.
The rest of the manuscripts are pretty much done. I have one chapter to send to editors and then it's layout and art.
